I woke up this morning realising that there was slightly more than a month left for exchange – and I felt troubled, and torn. I miss home a lot nowadays, and there is so much anticipation and joy to returning back, but at the same time life here has been good – just more bereft of community and family which aches in ways that I didn’t expect. Days here are cold, and I think that’s affecting me too.
I’m not really sure if parts of me have changed, or if I’ve grown. Not sure how to feel at all.
no sunsets or beaches from me, just a slow Saturday where I woke at 8 am to have maple brioche toast with sugar and eggs and caramelised bacon and some porridge, then headed over to my friend’s hall to have four eggs and more toast and some milk
being fully convinced then that it was time to let my stomach have a break, i trooped over to Starbucks to work on any assignment but the two research papers that i’m struggling with, and on my way there i passed by a makeshift stall selling duck confit in crisp shreds, the dude said ‘i have just about enough left for one more hour, then i close!’, and that was too much for me the thought of duck deprivation ate at me till i fished out my coin pouch and bought a duck confit sandwich and ate it all up
(we’re now slightly past noon)
i held out till joanne joined me in developing diligence, then i got myself a caramel frappe (YES this was the worst buy i know it) and it was good but it was not enough so after taking a ninety minute walk to Leicester Square and Picadilly and Trafalgar and back i cooked green curry glass noodles with turnip and pork and helped make kimchi pork noodles before making myself curry instant mee at eleven thirty pm
—–
i was determined to make up for it today aka Sunday and to only start eating at lunchtime proper but when i popped open tumblr the above image was the first thing to greet me and i thought ah it is so cold and beautiful like Elsa from Frozen
i must have it
so as these words flee from my fingers i am planning a 15-degree appropriate outfit that will carry me through a lunchtime meet-up with the fittest guy from my air defence course (you’d think that’d inspire me to watch my diet, but nope) and church later and before all that perhaps maybe definitely a quick stop by Gelupo’s Gelato to grab a scoop of Ricotta White Chocolate Black Pepper
just typing that out made me shiver slightly
Currently in Tofino, a smaller island bit off the east of Vancouver Island, which is an island off Vancouver itself. Today was grim and horrible and dull and gloomy because we drove out 3 hours from the lovely house of our hosts in Nanaimo (south west of Vancouver Island) in the hopes of the best surfing this side of Canada, only to be met with a lackluster downpour (the worst kind, because you can’t decide whether to stay in or go out). Surfing was out, hiking was out, and our original plans to camp were out as well so we roamed the town looking for accommodation only to be met with rejection at every turn until an old lady took us in thank God so instead of camping out in the damp and fog (temperatures getting to 9 deg – suck it giu) we had a warm room with carpets and beds for the girls and floors for the me and the other lad (alden – top driver and cook and human), a fully furnished kitchen (complete sets of spices, an iron skillet, SILVERWARE – you must realise that I have been living in a six man dorm where we share chipped bowls and $1 cutlery this was like coming across Santa’s workshop), a bathroom, and a huge common area where I’m currently typing.
We then trekked out through a forest trail which one of the girls wanted to go to and which we were genuinely quite doubtful about but once again surprise surprise it opened up to a magnificent beach that was dotted with crags and rocks and a lush island, crashing, rolling, roaring waves all along the beach the sand shining shimmering splendid and I am not kidding a full rainbow????? I was literally whooping and shouting and running up and down barefoot (feet got cold and numb after a while though) when nature overwhelms me I utterly lose it and this was one such situation – scrambling up and down the rocks to have view after view expose themselves as island and sunset and horizon and forest sights unfold – it made up for the entirely horrible day, and it just filled me with a sense of sheer and complete awe.
The thing is nothing is quite like seeing something like that in the flesh – in real, genuine experience with sight and sound and touch. I could describe it all day long and post a billion instagram pictures (which you know I absolutely will) but just as I was doubt-filled, walking through the rainforest boardwalk before we hit the beach- there’s no way you can communicate that sense of tremendous beauty, raw and unfiltered to someone without them seeing it for themselves. It stirs the soul and makes you wonder at every bruised and colored sky – how and why we are here, on this beautiful and marvelous earth, and this post is obviously not going to be able to capture an iota of that and it’s almost depressing how vacant human expression is in comparison to human experience. I know I’m incredibly blessed to be in this part of the world at this point in my life and I’m really trying to not take it for granted and this trip is just wildly exceeding all expectations.
I have whooped and yelled and cried out in pure ecstasy twice in my life – once, when I saw a whale shark swim up to us near the end of a dive; and earlier this term on another trip, upon cresting Parker’s Ridge and seeing the mountains and valleys in Jasper. This is the third, and hopefully not the last. Canada is achingly beautiful. Their tourism department doesn’t need to do any work. The land, sea and sky speak for itself. It’s an end to a great day, and if you’ve been on the receiving end of my snapchats you should know that dinner was also another glorious affair. I am in a good place.
Edit: On a side note, we’ve discovered that a tropical storm is headed our way. We’re going out to surf tomorrow (hopefully) and the storm won’t affect us till Monday, but it might affect our travel plans back to Vancouver itself. Keep us in prayer!
today’s surprise is a surprise to us all
because as i was drinking heartily from my Falcon swag mug
i realised that the chip at the bottom had turned into a rust factory
like there was significant rust accumulation around the edges of the chip
and i had been drinking water like it was koi 70% pearl milk tea medium size all morning
for a moment i thought
“will i die”
then i ate a charcoal pill
and texted some friends
and consulted Google
surprise!
if you drink rusty water it is fine
but if the rusty bits are flaking away and gliding down your gullet
that is an ancient Chinese assassin trick
how cute is that i am Chinese and i love ninjas and here i am practising the dark art of ninjutsu on me myself
next thing you know i’ll be tossing smoke everywhere i go
wait
i have read 0 books since i got here, which is really a book sail (away)
—–
today is a promising day – the highest temp i’ll get is a roaring 11 deg celsius, and i have to leave home for a one republic concert in the evening (so that’s 9? 8? degrees), so to strengthen my ailing body i am downing warm water at regular intervals in the hope that it’ll settle in my belly like a reservoir of warmth that i can draw on for later
—–
in a bid to save energy, i’ve also taken to flinging open my curtains at daybreak, but as i type this i realise that the verandah that my window overlooks is not part of my apartment, which means that if i
– fall asleep at my desk
– keep valuables on my desk
– headbang to music
– am naked
this neighbour of mine could peer over at any moment and see all that
——
finally, i bought a bag of sainsbury cookies yesterday, and i brought them home and told myself that i will eat REAL FOOD (meat balls and eggs and pasta) first before i so much as start on a cookie, but it is 9:38 am and while i was still dazed and somewhat sleepy my fingers undid the mouth of the paper bag and slipped a cookie by my defences
so i responded calmly by KNOTTING THE BAG UP IN ANOTHER PLASTIC BAG AND FLINGING THAT PARCEL OF PROFLIGACY THAT TRUSSED-UP TEMPTRESS into my laundry basket (went in clean, it’s not just Kobe who’s having a comeback)
*i realise now that blogging about it will only serve to remind me of its location, but the damage has been done. well played, Sainsbury..
I had a lot of thoughts on various things but I will save them for another day.
I bought four books today, for $11 at a book sale. Book sales are terrible things to spring upon me. It’s not like I have a lot of time to read – I have a ton of readings to do, essays to plan by this week, haven’t touched the books that I brought with me on this trip (one on language, one that I’ve read before but plan to again), haven’t finished a book that was loaned to me by one of the other Singaporeans in the second week, another tome that I downloaded after reading an article about another book by that same author – but I also spent some time out of the house, alone – which is strangely a very rare thing that I have on exchange. If I’m out I’m usually with people, and if I’m in, I’m either cooking or in my room – it was nice to just quietly read by myself and watch the fall colors fade into the campus trees. UBC has plonked a piano every couple of blocks or so on campus and so this music student was busy playing his composition (entitled “Shadowbox”) which was insanely good (but then again, like so many cultured things – I really wouldn’t know any better). I just wish the weather was a tad warmer (or I should bring out more warm clothing). Lovely day.
short post to note that
– i spent Thurs in a daze skipped core course to sleep in
– spent Thurs night in a different kind of daze bear’s den 10/10
– i got home l8888 slept at 1am
– woke at 330am?!?!
– and stayed awake till now (7am) which is ridic
– i am on 3 types of meds & pi pa gao so how am i so full of energy and well at this hour
– (hoping that i’m somehow ok but also scared that the sickness is just suppressed)
– stomach growling time 4 pasta
shoutout to the weekend for arriving
no shoutout to my teachers for all the homework
supa shoutout 2 gidseppe for blogging it was a pleasant surprise to log on and see that my posts were in good company *\o/*
goshdarn it giuseppe i actually went to youtube to look for Bon Iver’s cover of Wrecking Ball
I came on to yeaboiiiii to write a post, half inspired, when delightfully I see giuseppe has noted my absence from this space – not that I’m petulantly keeping away – I’ve just fallen into that time of the month/year/day/life where things come to a crawl and yet are filled to the brim with activity, both one and the same a bleed and a bluster – like that time of day from 3 to 5, too soon after lunch to go looking for food, not quite yet time for dinner (at this point I realise that I will genuinely use anything as an excuse not to do something, including mealtimes) ,
I don’t even recall what exactly has been happening – I went to Seattle and shopped quite a bit, and in some strange stark contrast stayed in a tent so the days were filled with designer goods and matching prices and the nights were cheap american fast food (macs one night, chipotle another), watching things on my laptop that I had lugged along (Community, half of the Life Aquatic) and sleeping on the cold ground, wrapped in a sleeping bag, four men to a tent.
It’s fall, which means the leaves have turned a brilliant red, and some have begin to appropriately, fall, as it were – I spent the week before tramping/trampling up and down the road to church in a mass of brown crunch. Oh and this weekend was Canadian thanksgiving too, so it was a long weekend that we spent in Seattle (I’m sorry if this is incoherent) and we ended it at a supermarket (I love american supermarkets. U-S-A!) eating a roast chicken and various peng (饭, which in reality was 4 kinds of salads types [when I say salad I mean stuff that has pasta and potatoes and walnuts in them. American salad.])
I am in a good place- that is to say I am in stasis, free to do things and free to not do them, on the cusp of complete time wasting and yet at the perfect point of rest, the pendulum frozen in a single frame before things come crashing together again. I want to stay here forever but it’s a lot later than I expected it to be- a part of me wants to go out and experience everything and a part of me just wants to watch all the television saved on my hard drive.
I had a great night last night- finally joined the other Singaporeans for an all-Asian bible study (trust me, I had my doubts) and it was refreshing to have something comforting – the voice of collective prayer, studious scribbling in silence over a passage, awkward introductions at a social that’s not quite a social, and the word of God being read. I don’t think I’ve been a very good Christian here (whatever that means to you) but I know that I have a good God, and it was just nice to focus on things that do matter.
I have tons of work due. Do not let my lackadaisical daily chronicling fool you into thinking that things are a cakewalk (okay it really is quite slack here but the shit is probably going to hit the fan soon) some courses are pushing me harder than others, and I’m pushing back for some.
I really would like to write more but it feels that every time I get enough acceleration to write about things (like the weekend) i get derailed into another point and that’s further parsed into other things (much like my focus) and I feel like I’m not doing what I was supposed to do on this blog, which was to chronicle my activities, and kudos to giuseppe for keeping it up consistently, AND maintaining his other wordpress. I think the biggest problem is that I will always promise to elaborate, or continue, but you and I know that it’s rare for me to do that because I’m frankly quite lazy. It’s a character flaw that I’m working on. I’ll elaborate on it later.
so gideon has stopped blogging on this space for sometime now, and it feels a bit colder and lonelier.
paris was a pretty legit holiday – but to compare it to florence,
food
paris had a higher standard of food generally, but its star attractions seemed to have Singapore counterparts
– Sadaharu Aoki: any sg pattisserie (not the SAME amazing melty matcha cake, but confectioneries of equal standard – think Antoinette, Canele…)
– Au Pere Louis: my favourite dinner place (we went there twice), great great great top service and good food. duck confit slaps the La Petit Cuisine one squarely in the face (but LPC is not SG’s best, surely), veal was nicely done and yes it is really all about the confit – the second time we went there, 6/7 of us had confit. i’ve heard good things about the creme brûlée, but didn’t get to try it for myself.
– Berthillon: solid honey nougat and yogurt yuzu. really solid. still, florence takes the cake for ice-cream, and Berthillon’s serving size is pitiful.
– Breizh/Supa falafel: you can’t get either of these in SG (i think), but they weren’t transcendent.
on the other hand, I really liked the paninis and the lampredotto from florence. the panini store, in particular, seemed to have an almost endless series of combinations, which made me feel like i could go back and swap out the focaccia for a crisper, thinner crust, or mix the beef with the spiced veg and truffle sauce. on that note, there is truly amazing focaccia in florence near hostel 7 santi where we stayed. after eating our way through both cities, that first night focaccia remains the unanimous supa tops bez.
overall, paris had better food on average, but it was individual street dishes from florence that stuck with me best.
general swag
i
– sat outside the Uffizi & took a photo outside the Duomo
– stood under the Eiffel Tower while Eunice & Mags took the escalator up
– ate food and looked at dusty watches while the rest trooped round the Palace of Versailles
so i’m not the best person to comment on the respective attractions, but i do know that i’ve had quite enough of cities (though I am going to Berlin, but everyone says that Berlin is magical, so) and want to just find a huge lake, row a boat out in the middle of it, and lie down in said boat while listening to Bon Iver cover Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball.
the best bit of paris must be the coach ride though. like it was actually the best at bits because good company, but also the ‘bez’ because we had our 10 hour ride back transform into a 13 hour ride with a supa interminable-ish wait for a ferry that we missed, but more about that when i’m over the PTSD.
right now, i have to catch up on a heck load of school work – i wrote out the graded assignments due during class today, and there are SIX response papers and TWO essay drafts that i must produce within the next two weeks.
that’s just ridiculous. CTLS-goers, you come at your own peril.
yeaboiiii 